Rush Hour 3

You know what? And this may shock some of you, especially those that know me and know how much fun I had at Rush Hour and Rush Hour 2, but here goes: I am not going to see this movie. That's right, maybe on video, but I will not see Rush Hour 3 in theaters.

I just know it's going to be stale, I know it's going to recycle a bunch of old jokes, I am afraid it will stain the other two for me. I truly feel this is one too many. When I was younger, I wouldn't have cared as much, if I enjoyed something and you wanted to feed me more of the same, I'd take it! But now, knowing that there are so many films more deserving of my attention and my ten bucks, I just feel like rehashing this shtick one more time is going to be painful to watch.

Yeah, OK, it seems hypocritical, even to me. Isn't this the guy that watched all 6 Rocky movies? That reveled in the excessive explosions and falling bodies in every Rambo? The guy that watched all the Dirty HArry movies, several times? Yep, guilty.

And now I am calling for originality! What gives? I can't really explain it. The thought of watching Chris Tucker make faces and of watching Jackie Chan not fit in just seems so 'blah' to me at this point. There will be no meaningful plot, just a Pink Pantheresque caper of some sort, designed to let Jackie Chan kick some ass to let Chris Tucker get his kicked. Blah. Chan will be uncool and unhip, Tucker will gleefully point that out and ridicule him. Blah. I'm sorry, I can't do this one.

Taken separately I like both Chan and Tucker. Chris Tucker is a great visual actor, he has hysterical faces and, sort of like Jackie Gleason in his prime, knows how to react to something and not always be the instigator. He can be funny, visually with his quasi-feminine mannerisms and voice, juxtaposed with his dangerous job and macho persona. Likewise Chan can be hysterical with his faces and is entertaining visually. But let's face it, there's only so many times he can try to punch a guy in the face, miss and hit a wall or some other hard object, wince and shake his hand really fast and have it be funny.

The irony here is this: These movies make a living comparing and contrasting two guys that are supposed to be polar opposites. But in reality they are identical performers, relying on sight gags and funny faces to butter their bread. The sure to be terrible plot and horrible over the top bad guys aren't really even needed. I mean, who really cares what has these two all worked up this time. This is straight ahead, ake two guys that are opposite, stick them both out of their element, and watch the hilarity.

Come on, there's only so many versions of country boy goes big city you can handle. In Rush Hour Chan was the proverbial fish out of water in America. In Rush Hour Two Tucker was the fish out of water. Now they're both out of water! With both of them out of the water it'll be anyone paying 10 bucks a seat for this that's all wet.